For those that know, Tekken is one of the most cherished and beloved video game series by boys and men everywhere... well, and girls who like to kick ass. From classic characters like King, Nina Williams, Jack, Kazuya, and Heihachi, to the new boots like Alisa Bosconovitch, Lars Alexandersson, Miguel Caballero Rojo, and Bob, Tekken has spanned generations of entertainment, fun and crankiness. Originally coming out with its classic four button usage attack combos, it was quickly heralded as the "game to put an end to Street Fighter." So of course, like so many other video games, its popularity spawn movies. 2010 saw another one of the infamous "Iron Fist" saga variations, this one live action, focusing on Jin Kazama's quest for revenge over the death of his mother, Tekken character, Jun Kazama.
Let me say it like this...
Stop. Please. No more. I can't take it. I just.... can't... take.. it. If you're going to make a video game movie, why they hell can't you stay consistent with the games? Let me explain what I mean.
A: What the hell is Heihachi telling Jin about his past? His mother does that in the games! Then again, why the hell did you KILL his mother?
B: Where in the hell was Kazuya's big ass scar on his chest? You know, the one he gets when his threw him off a cliff and he had to climb all the way back up? Did any of you people play the actual damn game or just go by a questionnaire you sent out to some kids.
C: If I ever find out one of you called Cary Tagawa for this movie, and that he didn't actually say he wanted to be a part of it, I plan on finding you and beating your ass! Why would you disrespect the man by putting him in this.. this... bullshit!
D: Correct me if I'm wrong, but the only damn reason all these guys had no shirts is because you were trying to appeal to the 30 women that watched this in hopes of giving them some eye candy right? I mean.. did EVERY man have to fight with no shirt? Is that like some kind of stupid movie makers code? Stop it. Just.. stop it.
E: Where.. the hell did this tournament take place? Where was it supposed to take place? End of discussion.
To me, this was as bad as trying to make Star Wars without Lucas. Yes.. exactly. It makes you say, "Who in their right mind would even try that?!" Well, that's what I asked about this. So many switches in the storyline from movie to game, that I thought I was watching something made as a college project. You know what's better than this? Grayson! Yeah, the trailer about Robin searching for Batman's killer that will never be made into a movie. THAT GRAYSON!
I give this movie 4 food stamps out of 10. The only reason you're not getting 3 is because you actually made me smile by showing Kazuya at the end.. after the credits.. walking off injured.
Saving grace, people. Saving grace.
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