I, Robot (No, Not That One)

What do you get when you combine good intention with technology?  Give up.  Well, a shit load of money and millions of addicted consumers, apparently.  Hell, look at recent times.  The I-Phone.  The XBox.  Hell, ask the guy that created the microwave.  Must be nice to roll over, collect a check, and there you have today's workload.  So when I saw this movie the first time, I didn't know it came from a graphic novel.  I did find it to be an interesting concept.

Bruce Willis.  Ving Rhames.  James Cromwell.  These are three actors I enjoy on the screen.  So I knew Surrogates had to be something decent, right?  Wrong.  It was better than decent. It was pretty damn good.  Like, fried bologna sammich good. And..and.. not the kind you get from some chain restaurant.  Nooooo.  The kind you get from Miss Jenkins over on in the blue house on Elizabeth St.  You know, where you knock on the door, tell her you want two of 'em with lettuce, tomato and cheese on white, and she's automatically gives you miracle whip cause regular mayo just don't cut it?  Yeah.. that kinda good.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I think the movie moved along a little too fast.  It was a lot of action, and it's never easy to transition a graphic novel to film.  Take a look at 1997's Steel. Wait.. don't look at it.  I mean, really.. DON'T WATCH IT! You'll hate yourself for it. Anyway...

Surrogates could have been a shit load better, but yeah, it was still fried bologna good.  So.. what do you get when you cross good intention with technology?  A way for the disabled to continue to live their life through the use of user remote controlled androids? Robots? Automotons?  Well, they're metal, wires, oil, grease, and look like you and me.  So.. good idea right? That is until it becomes the latest lifestyle fad and EH-VER-REE DAMN BODY is using them!  The idea of "surrogates" apparently went shot to shit when they became your newest cell phone.  New models, updates, latest features, and now on sale!

Well, Bruce Willis plays Agent Greer who, with his partner, played by Radha Mitchell, are investigating the death of someone who died when their surrogate was destroyed, something that isn't supposed to happen.  Turns out, the guy who died is the, now get this, the SON of the creator of the surrogates, Lionel Canter, played by James Cromwell.  I like James.  He gives you old man emotion like no one else...except the old man from Up, and we all know who that is.

So then you have these reservations, called the Dread Reservations, where anti surrogacy establishments are. Led by The Prophet (I know.. cheesy name, but hey.. its that way in the novel too) who was played by Ving Rhames, these people speak out against the use of the robots.  Here's where things change up.  Some guy named Miles Strickland used this funky little electromagnetic device to kill Canter's son, because it disables the failsafe.  Greer chases him.. well, his surrogate does, and the pro-human coalition destroy his surrogate for the most part. So now he continues to investigate without one.  The Prophet gets the weapon, and has his men kill Strickland.  Seems the weapon was a military project that was scrapped except for this prototype that someone had out there, which was given to Strickland by.. dun-dun-dunnn.... Greer's boss, Andrew Stone, played by that sorry ass Boris... I'll get to that shortly.

You know what. I really don't even feel like giving away the movie if you haven't seen it, but I do want to say its a hell of a lot different from the novel.  There's no Steeplejack, and in the books, Greer's wife dies when her surrogate is disabled and she can't use it anymore.  Suicide. I know.. sad story, but a hell of a lot better book than movie.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to make the following statement.  Boris Kodjoe sucks!  Oh good lawd, this man is a horrible ass actor.  I've seen him in stage plays, tv shows, movies.. dude.. he sucks. Like sucks big monkey balls.  Like Shemar Moore, except Shemar's acting has gotten better since doing the tv drama, Criminal Minds.  Boris, however.... is a no.  His best acting was in the movie Soul Food, and it was only cause of the sex scenes with Nicole Ari Parker. Y'all need to quit giving this brotha roles that you KNOW he's only gonna fuck up.  <exhale... nyom myo oh rang gae kyooooh..nyom myo oh rang gae kyooooh>. Okay, I'm calm.  I'm calm.  I just don't like that dude.  Movin' on.

Radha Rani Amber Indigo Anunda Mitchell, and yes that is her name, did decent work as Agent Peters, Greer's partner.  This is the same woman that played Fry in the movie Pitch Black with Vin Diesel.  So yeah, she did pretty good work.  I liked her better in Pitch Black however, because her involvement was much more strong as opposed to her small lines and slight action scenes in Surrogates.

Overall, I give this movie 6 stamps.  Like I said, it wasn't horrible, but it was nowhere near as good as the graphic novel.  Go pick it up.  You'll like it.  Trust me.